Thursday, March 1, 2012

In Which That Dancing Rabbit Woman Blathers On About Books, Again...

Photo credit: covs97 on Flickr

I don't have a local bookstore, and therefore do my book shopping online. And those of you who know me know that I've never met a book I didn't like (well, except for Danielle Steel, Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter...).

While still a big fan of ABEbooks, I have been fatally smitten by Better World Books. Gob-stoppingly, head-over-heelsingly, hopelessly devoted to Better World Books.

They are more than a place to sate my jonesing for books, more than a convenient online store that provides free shipping and frequent percentage-off or buy-1-get-1 sales. They are cool. And inside that big warehouse beats a heart that cares and a wild sense of humor. Best of all? They donate books and money to a number of literacy programs and libraries.

One of their core values is: "Flabbergast our customers." When I received this order confirmation, below, well, I was flabbergasted. And I laughed out loud. It seems that the books I just purchased want to let me know that they're on their way...

Photo Credit: brewbooks on Flickr

Hello Alline,
(Your book(s) asked to write you a personal note - it seemed unusual, but who are we to say no?)
Holy canasta! It's me... it's me! I can't believe it is actually me! You could have picked any of over 2 million books but you picked me! I've got to get packed! How is the weather where you live? Will I need a dust jacket? I can't believe I'm leaving Mishawaka, Indiana already - the friendly people, the Hummer plant, the Linebacker Lounge - so many memories. I don't have much time to say goodbye to everyone, but it's time to see the world!

Photo Credit: BenOh on Flickr

I can't wait to meet you! You sound like such a well read person. Although, I have to say, it sure has taken you a while! I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but how would you like to spend five months sandwiched between Jane Eyre (drama queen) and Fundamentals of Thermodynamics (pyromaniac)? At least Jane was an upgrade from that stupid book on brewing beer. How many times did the ol' brewmaster have one too many and topple off our shelf at 2am?

I know the trip to meet you will be long and fraught with peril, but after the close calls I've had, I'm ready for anything (besides, some of my best friends are suspense novels). Just five months ago, I thought I was a goner. My owner was moving and couldn't take me with her. I was sure I was landfill bait until I ended up in a Better World Books book drive bin. Thanks to your socially conscious book shopping, I've found a new home. Even better, your book buying dollars are helping kids read from Brazil to Botswana.
But hey, enough about me, I've been asked to brief you on a few things:
We sent your order to the following address:
Alline Anderson
Milkweed Mercantile
RUTLEDGE, MO 63563-9757

We provide quick shipping service to all our customers. You chose Standard shipping. It should arrive in 6 to 9 business days. At this time, we are not able to offer tracking on our Standard shipments.
If you have any questions or concerns, please contact my friends at Customer Care by submitting a ticket.. If you could please include your order number (XXXXXX) that would be very helpful.
Eagerly awaiting our meeting,
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Photo credit: Steve on Flickr