Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Gratitude - a never ending list, or, further reasons that life at Dancing Rabbit does not suck

The other day I was feeling a bit discouraged. I knew my problem wasn't "real" but was instead a reflection of what I was thinking. Quite frankly, I was having a case of Bad Attitude, so I went online and did a search for "living abundantly." What I found was a blog post suggesting that I go onto my Facebook page and post the following:

Hi friends - I’m in the mood for gratitude. You tell me something that you’re grateful for today and I’ll match it with one of mine.

What happened was astounding. (You can read what my marvelous friends wrote at the bottom of this post). It inspired me out of my slump and got me thinking about my never-ending list of gratitude. Here is just the start!

The beginning of a long list of that for which I am grateful (in no particular order):

1. Being raised as a reader. I had my own library card by the time I was 7, and we went to the library regularly. By the time I got to high school and my dad had meetings every Wednesday evening we’d have “bring a book to dinner” night. Reading remains my  entertainment, my escape, my university, my solace. More about my book obsession here.

2. Glasses. Sometimes, usually when watching a period movie, I try to imagine what it would be like to not be able to see well. As much as I hate the smudges and general annoyance, I’m grateful.
3. Being comfortable outdoors. I had the opportunity to go to “sleep over” camp beginning when I was a Brownie. I loved it. The campfire songs, the clean air, the sheer fun. But the best of all was comfort gained sleeping outside instead of hiding in a tent. Oh, the stars!
4. Seasons. In the winter, when it snows and the flakes landing land on my sleeves look just like the ones I'd cut out of carefully folded paper as a child in snow-less San Francisco, I realize that I love winter. Just when I am quite certain that I can’t stand another moment of the freezing cold, spring appears – the robins arrive, and green is everywhere. The last few years I’ve been making jelly from violets. Before I know it, the tomatoes are starting to ripen and we spend our days sweating. When summer seems like it has been going on forever, and even the pond is no longer cool and refreshing (it is more like old bathwater) the air crisps up, the leaves change color, and the milkweeds explode into fluffliness.
5. BLTs. With excellent bacon, Hellman’s mayo, crispy iceberg lettuce, and dark-purple acidic tomatoes. Heaven on earth.

6. Dogs. Big. Small. Young. Old.
7. Kurt. A kinder, more easy-going, generous, most-excellent companion would be impossible to find. Here’s just one example: one day, when I was whining about cramps and not wanting to do anything he said “Hey. Sit down and read a magazine. Menstruation is a full-time job.”
8. Therapy. I’d be dead, or at least more of a mess, without it. Thank you Judy for all of your help and insights!
9. Harmony. I love songs with harmony, the way the music intertwines…
10. The base part in Fleetwood Mac’s Go Your Own Way.
11. Growing up in the SF Bay Area in the 70’s. The concerts we got to see were amazing. The politics were inspiring. The schools were brand new and had great teachers. It felt like the center of the universe.
12.  Great movies and the lines that come from them. “Fasten your seat belt; it’s going to be a bumpy night” from All About Eve tops the list.

13. Fabulous names. Monu Tuiasosopo. Atticus, Jem and Scout Finch. Chili Davis. Neda Ulaby. Soraya Sarhaddi Nelson. Huckleberry Finn.
14. Memorable words. Flurry, pickle relish, salubrious, archipelago, brouhaha, reconnoiter, discombobulate, plethora...
15. Dave Brubek's Take Five
16. Peter Gabriel. Jackson Browne. Bonnie Raitt. Graham Nash. Joni Mitchell. They stole my heart in the 70's. I've never wanted it back.
17. My nieces. Three of the most amazing young women on the planet. And no, I am not biased!
18.  Modern Pharma. Say what you will; when I have a migraine headache and can be rid of it in one hour instead of three torturous, nausea- and agony-filled days because of a little pill...well, that's something that goes on my gratitude list.
19.  Nick and Nora Charles, the characters in the Thin Man movies.

20. The Sierra Nevada Mountains. They will always be home, where I feel the most comfortable, and where I know the names of all the trees, birds and flowers.
21. Being born where, when and who I was/am. I am only beginning to understand the enormous privilege that I was born with. I am healthy, white, a native Californian born to parents who owned a house, had good jobs and health insurance, who sent me to college and supported most of what I wanted to do. It is humbling when looking at the rest of the world.

22. Learning to play basketball, and playing on my junior college team. I was never very good, and certainly not aggressive enough. But I loved learning to push my body to its limits, sweating like a dog, learning skills like using peripheral vision, and getting a glimpse into hoops strategy.

23.  The books of Beverly Cleary illustrated by Louis Darling. I suspect that this is where I first fell in love with dogs.
24. People who walk their talk, live what they believe, and make the world a better place.
25. Dancing Rabbit Ecovillage and everyone who has ever visited or lived here. It is sometimes difficult to see the forest for the trees, but it is very clear to me that this is an amazing place. Everyone who comes through makes a ripple, which touches each and every one of us. And those who live here have made such an impression on me and how I live...can't imagine my life without my time at DR!

Below is the list posted by friends when I asked them what they were grateful for:
  • You.
  • Grateful is good
    So I am really grateful right now that the ground isn't a seeping mud pit. While I am not overly fond of cold weather, I don't like mud much either.
  • Dancing Rabbit Ecovillage!!!
  • I am more than grateful for our friends at the Milkweed Mercantile who let my sister and I come down and spend an entire evening eating, visiting, and catching up like we cannot do ANYWHERE else. Truly last thurs night was one of our best yet!! Thank you!!
  • Baby tomatoes!
  • laughter
  • Asbestos Gelos (NOTE from Alline: I didn't know what this was, and so looked it up. SO COOL. Check it out here with Laugh Lady.)
  • The support you gave me when I was so sick at DR. I still hear your words sometimes. Thank you, Alline. I am also grateful to have felt well for over 13 years!
  • People who push the boundry of what's acceptable and inspire us to challenge our own beliefs and opinions.
  • The Sun, which has been hiding for a few days, is out warming the world & my heart! I AM super happy & grateful!!!!
  • Greatful I was able to register my kinder and get my books and audiobooks to successfully download.
  • Melting snow banks and tiny patches of grass still alive and almost green underneath.
  • Grateful for happy healthy grandchildren.
  • I'm grateful for beautiful weather today.
  • Today i am grateful for sudafed and benydral lol. I give them full credit for my ability to breathe today.
  • Swimming in the sunshine
  • getting the tires fixed
  • Fuck yeah I want another mango! Also, thanks fruit for being fruit (let us note that this author is spending the winter months not in freezing Missouri but instead in tropical Ecuador and Costa Rica. Hence his giddy ode to tropical fruit.)
  • my amazing brother
  • Grateful for the growing circle of friends I have discovered since moving to this little rural community I call home!
  • My kids and wife!
  • Friendship
  • Taking the time to finish She Got Up off the Couch today. Loved it, Alline.
  • Working with my sister and my husband. Could not ask for two people I could trust and be happy to see everyday.
  •  my new job!
  • A new compost bin that Alexander and Grant built! (Also, all the boards they planed to finish our ceiling!!)
  • great friends, great adventures, exciting future!
  • my bikram yoga practice, family, friends, blue mountains, pink sunsets, my new chiro office, and a really cool dog
  • My health! and my friends, both 2 and 4 legged.
  • The Milkweed Mercantile and reading Alline's 48 grateful responses!!!
  • I'm grateful when both feet hit the ground and I stay upright. So many of my patients tell me how they didn't know they had a stroke until they stood up, and actually only one half stood, and they fell.
  • Grateful you are part of my family. love, Aunt Melba
  • i am grateful for that place that offers so many the space to create, in you - that would be the way you phrase things. it's right on ...
  • Cold but blue, sunny skies in Chicago.
  • I am so grateful for friends who appreciate gratefulness, really! Bringing this quality out in the forefront, exercising this practice is special. You're doing it! I'm grateful!
How is your day going? And what are you grateful for?


Tuesday, February 25, 2014

You Are Welcome Here (at the Milkweed Mercantile and Dancing Rabbit Ecovillage). Period.

It is 2014. I hate that people (kids!) are still being ostracized for any number of things, but especially for their sexual/gender orientation. For who they are.

Sheesh. Come on!

Just for the record, you are welcome here. Queer, straight or anywhere on the very fluid spectrums we call gender and sexuality. You are loved. You are respected.

One of our beloved former work exchangers just posted this song on Facebook, and I thought it was worth sharing.

Click here to hear Same Love by Angel Haze (Macklemore's song with different lyrics).


Hi Mom, I’m really scared right now, but I have to
At age thirteen, my mom knew I wasn’t straight
She didn’t understand, but she had so much to say
She sat me on the couch, looked me straight in my face
And said you’ll burn in hell or probably die of AIDS
It’s funny now, but at thirteen it was pain
To be almost sure of who you are and have it ripped away
And I’m sorry if it’s too real for some of you to fathom

But hate for who you love is not exactly what you’d imagine
And I guess it was disastrous
Because everything that happened afterwards was just madness
Locked away for two years to keep me on the inside
Because she’d rather see a part of me die than me thrive
And it’s tougher when it’s something you can’t deny
And ignorance teaches us it’s something you decide
You’re driven by your choices, an optical illusion
Here’s to understanding it’s not always confusion

And I can’t change even if I tried, even if I wanted to
And I can’t change even if I tried, even if I wanted to
My love, my love, my love
She keeps me warm, she keeps me warm
She keeps me warm, she keeps me warm

I’ve walked the halls of my school
And I’ve seen kids hide behind walls and footballs and things like pride
I’ve seen innocent children suffer beneath bruises
Suffer beneath every single hand that chooses
Ignorance, fuck your religion
Fuck constitutions, fuck superstitions
There are no lakes of fire; they’re here on earth
And the only thing to do is put love first
And so I stand for the boy who died by his hand
To the sound of his father screaming “woman loves man”
This is Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve

And I stand for the girl with the cuts up her sleeve
And the heart in her hand and a chip on her shoulder
And I stand for it all until ignorance is over
This is for you, for knowing who you are
For never letting your magic outside of your heart
Be you, be brave and understand that things do change
I accept you for you when I don’t understand
And I love you for you cause this is who I am
I accepted you for you when I didn’t understand
Now love me for me cause this is who I am

Here’s a message to the people who just don’t get it
Love is love, there is no difference
Not a medication to fix it
There is no prescription
No rehab to visit, it is not an addiction
It’s love and it’s selfless
It’s yours and everybody else’s
So don’t badger and abuse the solemnly defenseless
See us as yourself, there’s no equality in difference
Until we all get it, we’ll be drowning in the same blood
Despite orientation, we all feel the same love
We’ll be drowning in the same blood
Despite orientation, we all feel the same love

We are boxed in and labeled
Or who we dream we'll become
Like drum beats forever changing their rhythm
I am living today as someone I had not yet become yesterday
And tonight I'll only borrow pieces of who I am today
To carry with me to tomorrow
No, I'm not gay
No, I'm not straight
And I sure as hell am not bisexual
Damn it I am whoever I am when I am it
Loving whoever you are when the stars shine
And whoever you'll be when the sun rises
So here's to being able
Here's to love
Here's to loving just because
Here’s to acceptance
Here’s to never fearing the fear of rejection
Here’s to love and never neglecting who you feel you are
Here’s to bullies because beatings cannot last forever
Heres’ to the moment you realize things do get better
Here’s to the parents who will get it when its too late
Here’s to second chances
Here’s to new fate
Here’s to every single moment you’ve ever had to hide you
Here’s to the single star shining bright inside you, asking you to guide you
Here’s to who you’ll be when you figure it all out
Here’s to momentary doubt
Here’s to feeling, because we all feel it the same
Here’s to the moment that things will change
Because we all feel love, we all feel it the same
Here’s to love, here’s to change