Wind power for everyone - even the cynics

As I write this the sun is shining brightly – the solar chimes in a downstairs window are pinging merrily, and I can hear our wind turbine spinning out electric power. Other than knowing that our batteries are filling up with electricity, I’m not much of an electrician. BUT!

One of the most interesting topics to come up a the annual Dancing Rabbit retreat this last weekend, at least for me, is considering going from having our own independent solar/wind power systems to hooking up to “the grid.” NOTE: For a quick explanation of the grid, look at this link Modernize the Grid . It is not entirely unbiased, but you’ll get the general idea.

My first reaction to DR hooking up to the grid was “no way!” I didn’t want to have anything to do with a system that uses coal and nuclear power – hooking up to the grid felt akin to sleeping with the enemy. But through listening and reading, I’ve begun to realize that like most things, it is much more complicated and multi-faceted than I had ever realized.

The power grid itself, the huge nationwide system that generates electricity and then moves it to where it is needed, is a marvel of engineering. But with the ease of seemingly abundant power comes a sense of entitlement and lack of awareness.

If we can simply flick on a switch and have a room flooded with light, plug in an electric heater when we get cold, add a huge freezer and fridge to hold our food so that we can eat anything regardless of the season, if we all have large screen televisions, 5,000 square foot homes, air conditioning left on 24 hours a day in the summer…it is easy to forget where our power comes from.

I certainly never thought (much) about it before moving to Dancing Rabbit. But the days of blasé naïveté are over. Mountain tops are being removed so that Americans can heat the towel bars in their bathrooms. Appalachia (Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia and West Virginia) has been systematically scalped for the last 28 years. If you think I’m exaggerating, you have never seen photos of “modern surface mining” (as it is euphemistically called). Simply google “coal mining” or go to this site or to Mountain Justice or to Ohio Valley Environmental Coalition. More than 80% of Missouri is currently powered by coal-fired plants.




Nuclear power is not clean, either. Lest we forget, take a quick look at Paul Fusco’s Chernobyl Legacy . The Chernobyl reactor exploded in 1986. The photos were taken in 1997. Most of the children pictured must have been in utero or not yet conceived – those who didn’t die outright suffer from severe genetic disorders and a number of lethal cancers. Four hundred times more radioactive fallout was released than in the bombing of Hiroshima. Is our use of electrical appliances so important that we let this happen to children?

Back to Dancing Rabbit.

When we arrived, the first thing Kurt did was to install our solar panels (and later, a wind turbine), hooked them both to a bank of eight deep-cycle batteries to hold the electricity, and also hooked everything up to an inverter and charge controller. I am not really interested in the mechanics of it all – I’ve simply learned how to interpret the readout so that I know when I can use the waffle iron and when I need to be more conservative with my electricity use.

We (Kurt and I, and many other Rabbits) have known from the start that there were very few easy answers to the environmental challenges facing us. I was fully aware that many of our choices were less than optimal, but had to content myself that we were working towards better solutions. For example, the small scale renewable energy system that powers our house is largely dependent upon deep-cycle lead-acid batteries. We need them to store electricity so that at night and during cloudy weather we can have power. (NOTE: not everyone at DR has a power system. But I’ve noticed that the folks who live in houses without electricity spend a lot of time in buildings that DO have power – Skyhouse and the Community Building – using the lights and the wi-fi).

Four (of eight) deep cycle batteries

These deep-cycle lead-acid batteries are not sustainable. They wear out in about ten years, and there are issues with both manufacture and disposal. Plus they are (almost prohibitively) expensive. We chose to use them because at the time they were our best option.

Where we monitor the power currently (no pun intended) in our batteries.

But the times, they are a-changing.

More and more municipalities are allowing grid intertie systems.

I LOVE THINKING ABOUT THIS. It is always sunny and/or windy somewhere in the United States. What if those of us utilizing renewable energy (wind and solar) hooked up to the grid to share our excess electricity? Can we, by contributing our “green” power, help with the huge culture shift that must happen to wean ourselves away from coal and nuclear power? What if dozens, hundreds, thousands, millions of individual homeowners and communities installed solar panels and wind turbines and sent power back into the grid? Coupled with conservation (which does NOT have to mean deprivation) we could decrease the demand for polluting power by providing a bountiful, green alternative.

Our goal at Dancing Rabbit is not to be self-sufficient. What we DO want is to be a part of a sustainable society, and to demonstrate that great lives can be had while living sustainably, and to contribute to the solution. I look forward to next week’s retreat meetings and further discussions about this issue. I’ll keep you posted about how the conversation is proceeding and what is happening. In the meantime, consider doing the following:

• Plug your appliances into power strips that can be turned off when not in use. We have these on our printer, our television, our microwave.* These appliances, and many more with an “automatic on” capability are ALWAYS pulling power. Ghost load details here
  

*Oh, just stop it! We have a TV to watch Netflix movies on occasionally. We have a microwave because it is a very efficient way to warm up leftovers WITHOUT using propane.

Back from the Black Abyss - Life off the Grid

After two dark, wind-free weeks, the batteries storing the last of our solar and wind power were finally tapped out, and we were left in the dark. It is not unusual for us to have a day or so where we have to be aware of our power usage, but two weeks felt oppressive. Kurt and I have been carefully alternating between our cottage and the Mercantile; we would do vital things (like grind coffee beans!) in whichever had a smidge more power.

But by last Saturday, the entire village was on “black power.” Green power is when the batteries are full, and electricity is plentiful. From there it goes to yellow, to orange, to red, and finally to black, when the inverter (essentially the on/off switch) is shut off. I opened the Mercantile in the dark, wrote out our monthly food order from the natural foods distributor huddled by the glass-paned front doors, and did everything I could think of while there was still weak daylight. By 5:00 p.m. we had the candles lit.

We’ve learned many tricks to living without power and by candle light – taller tapers are much better to read by than pillars, for example. Three tapers surrounding one’s book on the table (one on each side, one at the top) provides plentiful illumination. But we both find ourselves getting sleepy earlier, and are often in bed by 8:30. (Oh, how they party at the Ecovillage, she says sarcastically!). Additionally, we've got spots of wax everywhere - all over the table cloth, on books, on end tables, even on our shoes (carrying a taper in an elegant glass candleholder to the bathroom and back is often hazardous to one's footwear). Ack!

More problematic are things like the water pump – we have plenty of water in the cistern, but it takes electricity to get it from there up through the filter and into the faucet. Things we take for granted suddenly became things we were forced to consider.

I went to Rutledge and bought three blocks of ice. One went into the fridge in our house (which we had turned off), turning it into an old fashioned “ice box.” The other two went into the Mercantile freezer, which was the only thing plugged in over there.

For dinner, and for potlucks, I made items that did not require a mixer, a blender or a food processor. I had memories of my grandmother who always baked from scratch and never used a mixer – she beat the butter and sugar together BY HAND, and then added eggs and beat them in BY HAND. Whooeeee. I never knew what a powerhouse of an arm she must have had! I tried it for a batch of no-knead bread and it was just about all I could do – I was worn out.

When we moved here, I did not sign up for a Little House on the Prairie life. I am not looking to create a "simpler" time with no power. I'm more into being comfortable in a way that feels more sustainable than how I lived in a city. I enjoy lights, computers, and my KitchenAid mixer.

And then the winds came. Like the ancient Israelites wandering in the wilderness receiving manna, or the pioneer Mormons welcoming the seagulls to eat the crickets devouring their crops, the bit of sun and fierce, blustery wind have come to save us. For two days now the wind has been raging, sending our wind turbine into paroxysms of activity. We gleefully watch the numbers on the trimetric box (which shows the percentage of fullness of batteries, and the amps coming in to the system) climb higher and higher – we are currently at 87%.

So we are grateful. And humble.

That’s it for now – I’m going to go jump up and down outside in the sunshine and wind!

A Little Help for My Friends

Hi all. I haven't written much lately - Amy, Juan and I are all working frantically (and not really very sustainably) to get our Seminar and Inn reservation software and information up and running. I'm running around like a crazy person, snapping at the dog, yelling at the snow (go figure), whining about credit card rates and html and other things that I do not understand, and generally being a big fat pain in the patootie.

Ah, but the universe has other plans, and it often forces me to wake up and smell the roses. I received an email that once again put it all in perspective.

Look at this beautiful little girl. This is Ja'Naya. She is four.


She was just diagnosed with leukemia.

I blog with Ja'Naya's mom as part of the Green Mom's Carnival. Like many of us, she and her family do not currently have health insurance. I can imagine few things as terrifying.

If you can, I encourage you to donate something, no matter how small. Click here to see more pictures and for a donation link.

Thanks so much. I'll write more tomorrow, and catch you all up on Mercantile & Dancing Rabbit happenings!

Eight Sustainable Eco Gifts $30 or less

What to give if you want something nice but don't want to trash the planet? Check out the items below - they're some of the things we feel strongly about, and really love. We think your recipients will, too!




To-go Ware Tiffins - $23.00 - $25.00
Stylish and sturdy, these stainless steel food carriers are a fabulous way to keep styrafoam out of the system. Simply bring one of these along for leftovers, and then carry them in to work the next day. Produced by a Fair Trade company.


To-go Ware Bamboo Flatware in recycled plastic case – $12.00
I always have one of these sets in my bag – I HATE using plastic flatware for both environmental and aesthetic reasons. The knife, fork and spoon are strong and feel good in one’s hand – the spoon is especially fun to use, and the chopsticks have a lovely twist design. The snap-holder is made of recycled PET plastic and has a carabiner so that you never forget to bring it along!



Klean Kanteen Stainless Steel Beverage Bottles – $15.00 - $28.00
Safe, durable and no disposable plastic. Now available in an insulated version, that keeps hot drinks hot for six hours, and cold drinks cold for 24. What’s not to love?



The Best Rechargeable Batteries on the Market – eneloop
Starting at $20.00, including charger






Recycled Cotton Shopping Bags – with dual handles, the same “footprint” as a brown paper bag, and super tough fabric these bags are a steal at $6.00






Glass Food Storage Containers $6.00 - $17.00 See-through, safe (no leaching from plastic) and dishwasher safe, these borosilicate containers are simply the best.



Organic Essential Oils to add to home-made cleaning products $6.00. Recipes on the Essential Oils page on our store.

New Leaf Paper Products – 100% Post Consumer Waste
$3.00 - $8.00
If you have to use “new” paper, this is the kind to use!

Heavenly Breads - for you, or to share!

Cranberry Orange Bread
Photo credit: Heidi @ Mt Hope on Flickr

In the midst of the holidays, when we're all swimming in fudge, Christmas cookies and divinity, it is often nice to be able to present a simpler, less sugary option. Below are two of my favorite VERY EASY bread recipes - and while they might be a bit less dazzling than colored sprinkles they are no less delicious!

Cranberry Orange Bread

This recipe is adapted from James Beard’s Beard on Bread. It’s a great way to use fresh cranberries. The use of melted butter saves the labor of beating fresh butter and makes for a more evenly tender loaf.

Ingredients

• 3 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 tsp. baking soda
• 1 tsp. baking powder
• 1 tsp. salt
• 2 eggs
• ¼ cup melted butter or canola oil
• 1 ¼ cup milk OR ½ cup orange juice and ¾ cup Milk
• 1 ¼ cups raw cranberries, washed, dried and picked over, roughly chopped if preferred (frozen is fine)
• 3 Tb. Grated orange rind (optional)
• 3/4 cup walnuts or pecans, chopped

Directions

• Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Grease two loaf pans.
• In a large mixing bowl, blend together the flour, soda, baking powder, and salt. In a separate bowl, mix together the eggs and sugar.
• In a small saucepan, melt the butter (if using) and let cool before adding it to the egg-sugar mixture; otherwise, stir the canola oil into the egg-sugar mixture. Stir in the milk or milk-and-juice mixture.
• Stir in the dry ingredients until just moistened, then fold in the cranberries. The batter will be thick.
• Scrape the batter into the two loaf pans and spread out evenly.
  
• Bake for 50 minutes to an hour, or until a toothpick inserted into the center of a loaf comes out clean.
• Cool on a rack. Serve warm or at room temperature.

English Muffin Loaf (No Knead)

Ingredients

• 2 packages active dry yeast
• 6 cups unsifted flour
• 1 tablespoon sugar
• 2 teaspoons salt
• 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
• 2 cups milk
• 1/2 cup water
• Cornmeal

Directions

• Combine 3 cups flour, yeast, sugar, salt and soda in mixing bowl.
  
• On the stove, heat liquids until very warm (120 to 130 degrees).
  
• Add liquids to dry mixture. Mix well. Stir in the rest of the flour to make a stiff batter.
• Spoon into two 8-1/2 by 4-1/2 inch loaf pans that have been greased and sprinkled with cornmeal.
  
• Sprinkle tops lightly with cornmeal; cover and let rise in a warm place for 45 minutes.
  
• Bake at 400 degrees for 25 minutes or until golden.
  
• Remove from pans immediately and let cool. (These loaves freeze very well).

Gifts from the Heart, not the wallet

What are the gifts you remember most? I’ll wager that it is the most thoughtful ones, rather than the most extravagant or expensive. There’s just something about knowing that someone took the time to craft, create, think about you that means more than a big price tag.


Now, I’m not talking about making a crocheted skirt for a Barbie doll that hides a roll of toilet paper (unless someone actually wants one of those). What I mean is taking a few mintues to sit down and think about what the recipient might actually like, need and appreciate. It’s a bit harder than running down to the mall or going online to shop – you really have to pay attention. But once you start listening, you’ll be amazed by how many tips your friends and loved ones inadvertently pass along!

Below are some examples. The Gift Certificates do not have to be “official” documents or gift cards from a store – they’re actually much better if you make them yourself. You get to add the particulars (“valid any weekend in January” or “call one week in advance to make your appointment”) and they reflect your personality much better than some corporate plastic card.

Off the top of my head:
For a baker: does someone you know like to bake? Quality ingredients are tremendously expensive. But what if you purchased some nuts still in their shells, cracked them, and presented the ready-to-bake-with-gems them with a bow? Or one perfect, beautiful bar of organic Fair Trade Chocolate? Yum!

Photo credit: Sonicwalker on Flickr

For a movie buff: Gift certificate for a movie rental, with popcorn and drink of choice included. Perhaps the person gets to choose the movie, and you pick it up and pop the popcorn. Or buy a used DVD – there are zillions of fantastic films that are just waiting to be watched. You could even include a meal to go with the film ( Indian food to go with Slumdog Millionaire , a big organic salad for Food, Inc., champagne and cucumber sandwichs without crusts with a side of Gilbert & Sullivan for Chariots of Fire, fish & chips and Guinness for Millions , a vegetarian meal for Babe , fish sticks for Finding Nemo, and last but not least, how about ladyfingers for Shaun of the Dead?

Photo credit: Food Pornographer on Flickr

For a pet lover: How about a Gift Certificate for a dog walk, or a week’s worth of litter box cleanings? Some homemade dog treats, poop bags (any plastic bag will “doo”) and a dogwalker’s leash pouch?
For a tired mom (are there any other kind?): a certificate for an hour of baby-sitting, or for doing a load of laundry (wash, dry & fold). Or what if you just brought dinner over one night, and then stuck around to wash the dishes?

Photo credit: Ferrous on Flickr

For a picky eater: Do you have a niece or nephew who is a picky eater? Who only eats, say hot dogs? Or top ramen? Or some other ghastly thing? What if you got a package or three of the favorite item, tied up in a bow? This would take the heat off the kid for at least one meal, and also provide entertainment during gift-opening time.
For a book lover: What about gifting your latest favorite book? Similarly, what about compiling a list of everyone-in-the-family’s favorite book to give to the family bookworm? It’s a nice way to connect with folks with whom you may have little in common.
For a vegan: Vegans are some of the easiest people to please that I’ve ever met. Often faced with a dearth of choices at family get-togethers, what if you brought a vegan dish with extras packed to go? Vegan baking is really quite easy, and most recipes can be made with ingredients already in your kitchen. Find recipes at Post Punk Kitchen, or VegWeb.
For someone with gluten intolerance: what about a gluten free treat (recipes here) and/or a bag of rice flour?
For an art lover: a trip to a museum, accompanied by you, lunch included.

Photo credit: ShutterBRI on Flickr

For a sports fanatic: a gift certificate for exclusive use of the TV during a particular game (i.e. Super Bowl), with snacks provided for X number of friends.
Someone who commutes on a limited budget: a month's worth of transit passes.

Photo credit: Thomas Hawk on Flickr

For home-sick me: a trip home...

Photo credit: shutterBRI on Flickr

See what I mean? Once you get started, it gets easier. Good luck, and happy not-very-much-shopping!

Climate Change = Culture Change = Personal Change

This post is part of the Green Mom’s Carnival, hosted by Diane of Big Green Purse.

When asked to write about Climate Change, I never really know which tack to take. I sit here at my desk, in my home built of reclaimed lumber and strawbales, at my computer powered by solar panels and a wind turbine (not connected to the grid) and wonder if I am really making a difference. I periodically go downstairs to stoke the wood fire that heats our home, and to stir the soup on the stove (organic split pea), and ponder my many friends living "normal" lives - air conditioning in the summer, central heat in the winter, two to three vehicles per family, two adults commuting by themselves to different jobs every day, new cool clothes, lavish vacations, and I wonder why the hell am I doing this?

And I always come back to the same conclusion: because I cannot live any other way. I don’t mean just ethically or morally. I mean for me, the selfish, this-is–what-I-really-need part of me. I love my life here.

"Walk softly and carry a big stick" ~ Teddy Roosevelt and Baloo E. Milkweed

I get to spend lots and lots of time with my husband, whom I adore. I get to hang out with my beloved dog all day long - we take long walks, and he accompanies me on my various errands around the village, and then snoozes at my feet in between. I can sleep as late as I like each morning, and go to bed whenever I want - I don't have to worry about getting on the road to punch a time clock. When there is an ice storm or a blizzard, I am able to sit in my nice warm house and enjoy it, instead of worrying about being able to drive safely to work and back. I get to grow, and then eat, much of my own food. And while I work a lot, and much harder than I ever have at any other “job,” it feels good.

Friends in the Milkweed Mercantile during construction: left to right - Amy Borla, Alline, Meadow (aka Amy Carleton) and Amy Radford...hmmmm, does a girl have to be named Amy to get into Dancing Rabbit?

I feel that, however imperfect Dancing Rabbit and its inhabitants may be we are at least attempting to make a difference. This difference is not about preaching to anyone else. It is an experiment with our own lives. (Do I have time to do everything I want to do? Is my life exactly as I want it to be? Nope. But I figure it is a work in progress, and I’ll continue to figure stuff out as I go along…)

I also realize that this is an incredible luxury. I recently watched the No Impact Man documentary, and then read Colin Beavan's book. He spent a year in New York City trying to make no environmental impact. He received a lot of criticism, and sneering, for his efforts. But in return he got to spend time with his family, became healthier, discovered he liked gardening, and found new passions. The Beavans, and all of us at Dancing Rabbit, can choose to turn off electricity, to use solar, to limit our consumption, to eat locally and organically. This is the gift of privilege. Those in the world with no power to turn off, not enough food to eat are not able to make these choices. I feel strongly that because we have the choice, we need to make it.

No one says this better than Derek Jensen. Excerpts from a recent article in Orion (read the entire article here):

"The most common words I hear spoken by any environmentalists anywhere are, We’re fucked. Most of these environmentalists are fighting desperately, using whatever tools they have—or rather whatever legal tools they have, which means whatever tools those in power grant them the right to use, which means whatever tools will be ultimately ineffective—to try to protect some piece of ground, to try to stop the manufacture or release of poisons, to try to stop civilized humans from tormenting some group of plants or animals. Sometimes they’re reduced to trying to protect just one tree.

…But no matter what environmentalists do, our best efforts are insufficient. We’re losing badly, on every front. Those in power are hell-bent on destroying the planet, and most people don’t care.

Frankly, I don’t have much hope. But I think that’s a good thing. Hope is what keeps us chained to the system, the conglomerate of people and ideas and ideals that is causing the destruction of the Earth.

To start, there is the false hope that suddenly somehow the system may inexplicably change. Or technology will save us. Or the Great Mother. Or beings from Alpha Centauri. Or Jesus Christ. Or Santa Claus. All of these false hopes lead to inaction, or at least to ineffectiveness. One reason my mother stayed with my abusive father was that there were no battered women’s shelters in the ‘50s and ‘60s, but another was her false hope that he would change. False hopes bind us to unlivable situations, and blind us to real possibilities.

Clearcut Forest in Newfoundland. Photo Credit: boreal on Flickr

Does anyone really believe that Weyerhaeuser is going to stop deforesting because we ask nicely? Does anyone really believe that Monsanto will stop Monsantoing because we ask nicely? If only we get a Democrat in the White House, things will be okay. If only we pass this or that piece of legislation, things will be okay. If only we defeat this or that piece of legislation, things will be okay. Nonsense. Things will not be okay. They are already not okay, and they’re getting worse. Rapidly.

But it isn’t only false hopes that keep those who go along enchained. It is hope itself. Hope, we are told, is our beacon in the dark. It is our light at the end of a long, dark tunnel. It is the beam of light that makes its way into our prison cells. It is our reason for persevering, our protection against despair (which must be avoided at all costs). How can we continue if we do not have hope?

…The more I understand hope, the more I realize that …it serves the needs of those in power as surely as belief in a distant heaven; that hope is really nothing more than a secular way of keeping us in line.

Hope is, in fact, a curse, a bane. I say this not only because of the lovely Buddhist saying “Hope and fear chase each other’s tails,” not only because hope leads us away from the present, away from who and where we are right now and toward some imaginary future state. I say this because of what hope is.

More or less all of us yammer on more or less endlessly about hope. You wouldn’t believe—or maybe you would—how many magazine editors have asked me to write about the apocalypse, then enjoined me to leave readers with a sense of hope. But what, precisely, is hope? At a talk I gave last spring, someone asked me to define it. I turned the question back on the audience, and here’s the definition we all came up with: hope is a longing for a future condition over which you have no agency; it means you are essentially powerless.

I’m not, for example, going to say I hope I eat something tomorrow. I just will. I don’t hope I take another breath right now, nor that I finish writing this sentence. I just do them. On the other hand, I do hope that the next time I get on a plane, it doesn’t crash. To hope for some result means you have given up any agency concerning it. Many people say they hope the dominant culture stops destroying the world. By saying that, they’ve assumed that the destruction will continue, at least in the short term, and they’ve stepped away from their own ability to participate in stopping it.

Coho Salmon. Photo Credit: Peggy Collins on Flickr

I do not hope coho salmon survive. I will do whatever it takes to make sure the dominant culture doesn’t drive them extinct. If coho want to leave us because they don’t like how they’re being treated—and who could blame them?—I will say goodbye, and I will miss them, but if they do not want to leave, I will not allow civilization to kill them off.

When we realize the degree of agency we actually do have, we no longer have to “hope” at all. We simply do the work. We make sure salmon survive. We make sure prairie dogs survive. We make sure grizzlies survive. We do whatever it takes.

When we stop hoping for external assistance, when we stop hoping that the awful situation we’re in will somehow resolve itself, when we stop hoping the situation will somehow not get worse, then we are finally free—truly free—to honestly start working to resolve it. I would say that when hope dies, action begins.

…I have no patience for those who use our desperate situation as an excuse for inaction. I’ve learned that if you deprive most of these people of that particular excuse they just find another, then another, then another. The use of this excuse to justify inaction—the use of any excuse to justify inaction—reveals nothing more nor less than an incapacity to love.

At one of my recent talks someone stood up during the Q and A and announced that the only reason people ever become activists is to feel better about themselves. Effectiveness really doesn’t matter, he said, and it’s egotistical to think it does.

I told him I disagreed.

Doesn’t activism make you feel good? he asked.

Of course, I said, but that’s not why I do it. If I only want to feel good, I can just masturbate. But I want to accomplish something in the real world.

Why?

Because I’m in love. With salmon, with trees outside my window, with baby lampreys living in sandy streambottoms, with slender salamanders crawling through the duff. And if you love, you act to defend your beloved. Of course results matter to you, but they don’t determine whether or not you make the effort. You don’t simply hope your beloved survives and thrives. You do what it takes. If my love doesn’t cause me to protect those I love, it’s not love.

A WONDERFUL THING happens when you give up on hope, which is that you realize you never needed it in the first place. You realize that giving up on hope didn’t kill you. It didn’t even make you less effective. In fact it made you more effective, because you ceased relying on someone or something else to solve your problems—you ceased hoping your problems would somehow get solved through the magical assistance of God, the Great Mother, the Sierra Club, valiant tree-sitters, brave salmon, or even the Earth itself—and you just began doing whatever it takes to solve those problems yourself.

Photo Credit: Si1very on Flickr

When you give up on hope, something even better happens than it not killing you, which is that in some sense it does kill you. You die. And there’s a wonderful thing about being dead, which is that they—those in power—cannot really touch you anymore. Not through promises, not through threats, not through violence itself. Once you’re dead in this way, you can still sing, you can still dance, you can still make love, you can still fight like hell—you can still live because you are still alive, more alive in fact than ever before. You come to realize that when hope died, the you who died with the hope was not you, but was the you who depended on those who exploit you, the you who believed that those who exploit you will somehow stop on their own, the you who believed in the mythologies propagated by those who exploit you in order to facilitate that exploitation. The socially constructed you died. The civilized you died. The manufactured, fabricated, stamped, molded you died. The victim died.

And who is left when that you dies? You are left. … The you who thinks not what the culture taught you to think but what you think. The you who feels not what the culture taught you to feel but what you feel. The you who is not who the culture taught you to be but who you are. The you who can say yes, the you who can say no. The you who is a part of the land where you live. The you who will fight (or not) to defend your family. The you who will fight (or not) to defend those you love. The you who will fight (or not) to defend the land upon which your life and the lives of those you love depends. The you whose morality is not based on what you have been taught by the culture that is killing the planet, killing you, but on your own animal feelings of love and connection to your family, your friends, your landbase—not to your family as self-identified civilized beings but as animals who require a landbase, animals who are being killed by chemicals, animals who have been formed and deformed to fit the needs of the culture.

When you give up on hope—when you are dead in this way, and by so being are really alive—you make yourself no longer vulnerable to the cooption of rationality and fear that Nazis inflicted on Jews and others, that abusers like my father inflict on their victims, that the dominant culture inflicts on all of us. Or is it rather the case that these exploiters frame physical, social, and emotional circumstances such that victims perceive themselves as having no choice but to inflict this cooption on themselves?

But when you give up on hope, this exploiter/victim relationship is broken. You become like the Jews who participated in the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising.

When you give up on hope, you turn away from fear.

And when you quit relying on hope, and instead begin to protect the people, things, and places you love, you become very dangerous indeed to those in power.

In case you’re wondering, that’s a very good thing.”

So do something. Take action. Stop hoping and become impassioned. Because it all starts with us. You. Me. All of us. Let's continue to work, and make change happen.