In Which My Heart Cracks Open, Just a Little Bit More...

This last year has been rough.

Lots and lots of work. Not enough sleep. More money going out than coming in. Some dependable help, some not so. Some amazingly abundant loving experiences, some depressing low points. The stuff of which life is made.

I've also been struggling about a lot of what is going on here at Dancing Rabbit Ecovillage. Growing pains, wanting to support folks in whom I believe but having a hard time with some of the decisions that have been made. Feeling like a poor communitarian, wondering if we should just pack up and move on, wanting to contribute but unable to with a happy heart.

Knowing that it is all in my attitude, that I make my own reality, that I have little control over what happens but TOTAL control about how I choose to spin it in my head.

But I just couldn't get over that bump. You know, the bump that is placed in front of abundance, kindness, happiness and satisfaction. The bump that I always trip over. I kept getting stuck in the "I hate everything I see" gutter that is right in front of the bump. 

Fortunately, FINALLY, a series of events - too long and convoluted to relay here - coincided with a visit from Kurt's niece Danae, who is pretty much sunshine incarnate, to lift my spirits and help me truly SEE what is around me.

And then this video was posted on Facebook.



I can't stop watching it. I can't stop singing it as I wander around through my life. I love the girls with bouquets of kale at 1:07, the kids at 4:33, the boy in the blue shirt at 4:47 singing so earnestly. I want to invite the man who is singing at 4:35 to dinner.

And keep moving forward and start looking towards your heart

It'll open all the doors and only then you'll start

To hear the world sing in chorus with your mind and heart

Aligned in purpose everything will feel gorgeous

Thank you Nimo Patel and Daniel Nahmod. I am grateful for this song, and the music and heart that you bring into the world.


Grateful: A Love Song to the World

by Nimo Patel and Daniel Nahmod
(emphasis on the parts that I find especially moving today ~Alline)

Written and produced by Nimo Patel and Daniel Nahmod - See more at: http://www.karmatube.org/videos.php?id=4460#sthash.404QwDFA.TxZl8JV3.dpuf

You're my life, you're my breath You're a smile, you're my guest

You're the earth, you're the sun You're the grass, you are love

You're my hands, you're a bug You're my eyes, you're a hug

You're the light in the dark You're the spark, you are fun

You're my mom, you are water You're the stars, you're my daughter

You're my friend till the end You're my dreams, you're my father

You're the ants on the ground The miracles that surround

I'm feelin' it all around the hemisphere and the clouds

You're my pain, you're my sorrow You're my hope for tomorrow

You're the strength when I'm hollow You're the path that I follow

You're the blessings that exist The small things that are bliss

The gift to realize that everything is a gift

All that I am All that I see

All that I've been

And all that I'll ever be

Is a blessing

It's so amazing

And I'm grateful for it all

For it all

Grateful for it all

You're the blessings every time I try to count

You're the lessons that l learn every time I turn around

You're the water when I'm burned every time I think I've found

Everything I'm looking for and the sign sayin' stop to take a bow

And keep moving forward and start looking towards your heart

It'll open all the doors and only then you'll start

To hear the world sing in chorus with your mind and heart

Aligned in purpose everything will feel gorgeous

All that I am All that I see

All that I've been

And all that I'll ever be

Is a blessing

It's so amazing

And I'm grateful for it all

For it all

Every day I sit and pray 'cause what I have is

More than I deserve or could ever imagine

How do I give back to all of this magic

And spread the love so everybody can have it

Doesn't matter if I'm rich or poor If I got a family or if I'm all alone

Bad things happen I can just complain and moan

But there's a million things that I can be grateful for

So I lift up

My hands now

And I open my heart

And my gratitude

Goes out

To everything

Near and far 

All that I am

Everything I am - All that I see

All that I've been

And all that I'll ever be

Is a blessing

It's so amazing

And I'm grateful

For it all

All that I am

All that I see

All that I've been

And all that I'll ever be

Is a blessing

It's so amazing

And I'm grateful

For it all For it all

For it all

For it all

Grateful for it all

For it all

For it all

You're the blessings that exist

The small things that are bliss

The gift to realize that everything is a gift

Thanks for reading. Sending love and gratitude to you this Thanksgiving weekend, and always.

Alline

A World of Abundance - Sharing the Good Stuff

Photo Credit: imashleyhello on Flickr

 So there I was, wandering around the house and the Mercantile, trying to work up some good juice for a blog post about the holidays, and giving, and how none of us needs any more stuff…I was getting nowhere, fast. Partly because I kept tripping over piles of stuff in my house, and partly because I was feeling short on inspiration.

Then, I opened my email . There I found an email from Kurt’s semi-nephew X (who wishes to remain anonymous). X and his brother are nephews of the second Mrs. Kessner, but Kurt received shared family visits in the divorce, for which we are truly grateful, and so as the fourth – and last – Mrs. Kessner, I benefit, too.  X is not only funny, he is very, very thoughtful, and kind. It said:

  

Dear All,

Merry Christmas!!!!  

Because I'm only working part time this year and hate spending (my wife's) money, I was going to buy a single goat or a llama or a water buffalo from Heifer International and let you all know that your gift was a fractional share of same which, as we all know, goes to help out a worthy impoverished family somewhere on the other side of the globe.

However a lot of people here in the USA are also food insecure, especially lately, and I remembered reading a couple years back about this guy who had created sustainable urban farms right here in the good old Midwest.  Naturally, when I thought of giving something on behalf of you all I thought, "Why buy the cow when you can buy the whole farm!" 

So anyway that's what I did and I thought since you aren't getting a pretty card like you get from Heifer, that the least I could do was provide interesting details about what your gift is supporting, so here are a few links you can follow about this organization (see below):  

Best Wishes for a safe, wonderful, and happy holiday.  Let us all take a minute and thank our lucky stars that we have enough to eat as apparently, according to info on Heifer's website, 1 in 5 children in this country do not.  

 -X

p.s.  Thank you in advance for any and all gifts you sent this year (which we will open Jan 7).  You are wonderful, thoughtful, loving, family and if no power on earth will stop you from buying us stuff then I gratefully accept your generosity.  That said, we do have a lot of stuff already and a lot of people the world over don't.  Just sayin if you donate to something that matters to you on our behalf next year, that would equally wonderful....

 

 Christmas Trees Before Being Cut Down

Photo Credit: xdex on Flickr

The beneficiary of my part of a cow is Will Allen’s GrowingPower, Inc.

Read more about Will Allen in this article from the New York Times,  and watch this short video:


Will Allen: The Urban Farmer from Spark Project on Vimeo.

So that's it. Just that. Maybe we don't really need all of those brightly wrapped packages. A home-grown head of lettuce, some real tomatoes, and the inspiration of people who are doing good things in the world might just be enough this holiday season. I know it is for me.

love,
Alline